True Love Story
Photo by Shelby Deeter on Unsplash
I was trying to figure out how to pull together with my girlfriend. I did love her but we weren’t living together and I didn’t have enough money to move out and she didn’t.
At first, I thought about marrying her. Which is a silly thing to do when you aren’t in love.
But I thought that extra commitment would allow me to put both feet in instead of one foot in and one out. “But I also knew there was something wrong.” When you fall so deeply for someone you ignore their mistakes. You don’t want to be the ‘bad person’ who sees only their negative side. All the conversations we had were only about her. I went out of my way to make her happy. “My girlfriend and I had been together for 2 years,” and were both still madly in love.
We had so many friends together and grew from kids into young adults, planned annual overseas holidays together, attended weddings and events together and were both heavily involved with the others’ families. In both our minds our future was always going to be together and we both often dreamed about and discussed our wishes for the future.
Then out of the blue, a seed of doubt had unknowingly taken root in my heart.
One evening, while I paid a visit to the kulthum house, I found myself alone in their cosy apartment. The nagging feelings of suspicion crept up on me, and I couldn’t shake it off. In a moment of weakness, I gave into the temptation and decided to go through Kulthum’s phone, hoping to find reassurance that my doubts were unfounded.
As I nervously scrolled through her messages, my heart sank. There it was, a series of conversations that revealed a secret I had never anticipated.
Kulthum had been exchanging intimate messages with someone else. The words on the screen pierced through my soul, causing an indescribable pain. Devastated and overwhelmed with conflicting emotions, Didn’t know what to do. I feel betrayed and hurt, but I also love Kulthum deeply. I grabbed the decision of confronting her or keeping my discovery a secret, hoping it was a mistake or misunderstanding.
Days turned into weeks, and the weight of the truth burned me every step. I couldn’t keep on the facade any longer. Summoning my courage, I decided it was time to have an honest conversation with Kulthum, to confront the reality that had shattered my world.
One evening, as I sat on the balcony overlooking the city light, I mustered the stranger to open up about my discovery. Tears welled up in my eyes as I poured out my heart through text messages, explaining how I had come across the messages and the pain they had caused me.The more I thought about these things, the hungrier my body grew. I went up to the roof with my phone and asked myself where I thought I was heading. Finally, at the beginning of July, a letter came from Kulthum. A short letter.
*One last thing Am not breaking up with you*
I hurt you many times, and I deeply regret it. The day you said you don’t love me, I felt immense pain and cried as if my world was collapsing. I have my own feelings, and I want to sincerely apologize for everything that happened between us.
I am truly sorry for cheating on you and for my attitude. I take full responsibility for the pain I have caused you. I apologize for all the mistakes I have made and for hurting your feelings.
Despite everything, I still love you, and I cannot imagine my life without you. I am begging you to give us one last chance to work things out. I understand that everyone makes mistakes, but I promise I will not break your trust again.
I swear I will end things with the other guy and ensure he never comes back into our lives. Please believe me and trust me once more.
My baby, if you leave me, it would feel like my world is crumbling. I fear I won’t be able to bear it. Please remember that effective communication and open dialogue are key to resolving any issues between us.
I read Kulthum’s letter again and again, and each time I would be filled with that same unbearable sadness I used to feel whenever Kulthum herself stared into my eyes.
I had no way to deal with it, no place I could take it to or hide it away. Like the wind passing over my body, it had neither shape nor weight nor could I wrap myself in it.
Objects in the scene would drift past me, but the words they spoke never reached my ears.
There was no hope of a phone call, but I didn’t know what else to do with the time. it was the worst mistake to ever make. It destroys everything I love about myself. I started questioning my worth and my insecurities started showing themselves. I question where they are constantly in the hope they aren’t doing it again.
If someone cheats no matter how much they beg for forgiveness and whatever you guys have between you to lose, your mental health isn’t worth getting broken just to keep them around. Time will heal you, and staying will destroy you. “We had ended on good terms,” and we both aim to have the lines of communication open for one another. It hurts so much to know that there was nothing either of us could have done differently to change the outcome- it was neither of our faults, just a poor situation. It makes the grieving harder because there is no hurt, anger or resentment there.
Neither of us has lost hope that our paths will cross again.
All I could do was glare at the incomprehensible heart of emotions and wonder what was going to happen to me from now on, and how the things around me would be changing.
I felt as if the world was pulsating now and then. I sighed deeply and closed my eyes. As regards what had happened that day, I felt not the slightest regret; I knew for certain that if I had to do it all over again, I would live this day in the same way.
Who could have stopped such a thing? It was true: Kulthum loved the other guy. And I had probably known as much for a while. I had just been avoiding the conclusion for a very long time. The problem was that I could never explain these developments to Kulthum. It would have been hard enough at any point, but with Kulthum in her present condition, there was no way she could tell me she had fallen in love with another guy.
And besides, I still loved kulthum. As twisted as that love might be, I did love her. Somewhere inside me there was still preserved a broad, open space, untouched, for Kulthum and no one else. I have always loved Kulthum, and I still love her. But there is a decisive finality to what exists between the other guy she loves and me. It has an irresistible power that is bound to sweep me into the future.
What Kulthum feel for me is a tremendously quiet, gentle and transparent love, but what she feels for the other guy is a wholly different emotion. It stands and walks on its own, living and breathing and throbbing and shaking me to the roots of my being.
I don’t know what to do. I’m confused. I’m not trying to make excuses for myself, but I do believe that I have lived as sincerely as I know how. I have never lied to anyone, and I have taken care over the years not to hurt other people. And yet I find myself tossed into this labyrinth. How can this be? I can’t explain it.
I don’t know what I should do. I think I’ve taken everything too seriously. Loving another person is a wonderful thing, and if that love is sincere, no one ends up tossed into a labyrinth. I have to have more faith in myself. My conclusion is very simple.
First of all, if she’s drawn so strongly to this guy, it is only natural for her to have fallen in love with him. It might go well, or it might not. But love is like that. When you fall in love, the natural thing to do is give yourself to it. That’s what I think. It’s just a form of sincerity.
Second, as to whether or not Kulthum should cut off with the other guy. Even though I have been such a great source of strength for Kulthum that even if she no longer has the feelings of a lover towards me, there is still a lot I can do for her. So I don’t brood over everything in that super-serious way of hers.
All of us (by which I mean all of us, both normal and not-so-normal) are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world. We don’t live with the mechanical precision of a bank account or by measuring all our lines and angles with rulers and protractors. My personal feeling is that the other guy sounds like a great guy. I understand just by reading her emotions why she would be drawn to him.
And I understand, too, why I would also be drawn to Kulthum. There’s nothing the least bit sinful about it. Things like that happen all the time in this great big world of ours.
It’s like taking a boat out on a beautiful lake on a beautiful day and thinking both the sky and the lake are beautiful. My relationship with Kulthum taught me to stop beating myself up. Things will go where they’re supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course.
Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it’s time for them to be hurt. Life is like that. I know I sound like I’m preaching from a pulpit, but it’s about time you learned to live like this.
You try too hard to make life fit your way of doing things. If you don’t want to spend time in an insane asylum, you have to open up a little more and let yourself go with life’s natural flow. I’m just a powerless and imperfect teenager, but still, there are times when I think to myself how wonderful life can be! Believe me, it’s true!
So stop what you’re doing this minute and get happy. Work at making yourself happy!
Needless to say, I do feel sorry that me and Kulthum could not see things through to a happy ending. But who can say what’s best? That’s why you need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. I’ve learned that for the past few years, we get no more than two or three such chances in a lifetime, and if we let them go, we regret it for the rest of our lives…
Think of Auschwitz, the most dreadful and the darkest chapter in the history of World War 2. The world’s largest and most dangerous concentration camps…
More than 1.3 million people were kept captive there, Out of which 250,000 were children. They were kept in small rooms, crammed like animals.
They were fed just enough to keep them alive and were given only half a litre of water to drink every day. Refusing to do something was punishable by death. The inability to do something was punishable by death. Even the smallest mistake was punishable by death. Out of these 1.3 million people, 1.1 million were killed.
In the face of such unimaginable suffering, the sorrows we encounter in our own lives seem insignificant. Yet, we often find ourselves dwelling on trivial matters and crying over minor setbacks. We fail to grasp the true significance of our challenges until we experience their weight firsthand.
Learning from Auschwitz: Regrettably, it took me far too long to comprehend the profound lessons that Auschwitz teaches us. I was slow to realize the value of resilience, empathy, and the strength to overcome adversity. By the time I fully grasped their importance, it was too late for me to apply those lessons effectively.
My earnest hope and prayer are that you, dear reader, will learn from my mistakes and understand the significance of life’s challenges earlier in your journey. May you embrace the lessons of Auschwitz, recognizing the preciousness of every moment, the resilience of the human spirit, and the power of compassion.
Auschwitz remains an indelible symbol of human suffering, reminding us of the depths of darkness that we, as a species, are capable of. Yet, through reflection and understanding, we can also find within it a profound source of wisdom. Let us not wait until it is too late to appreciate the lessons it offers, but instead, may we navigate life’s trials with empathy, strength, and a deep appreciation for the value of every precious moment.
This might be what’s necessary for us to move forward together, but only time will tell. I have rooted for love and believe that love always wins, but sometimes love is not enough and it’s completely heartbreaking. One thing I learned in the past few years is that for everything you do: either have both feet in and both feet out.
“I remember the day when things ended.” I felt like my heart had broken into million pieces. I Travelled 1635 Kms to an uncle in a new city. I moved and my girlfriend and I drifted apart. “I learn everything I could about crypto/arbitrage( discuss later).
The methodology part of my HackerNoon Written Contest from the best mentor Phil (discuss later). The lessons.? You’ll go through unexpected trenches in your life. You’ll feel like you won’t make it. But trust me, you will. Insults have weird ways of motivating us.
Disappointment over love affairs, generally has the effect of driving men to drink, and women to ruin; and this, is because most people never learn the art of transmuting their strongest emotions into dreams of a constructive nature.” I Went and began a job in the new city. It was a new beginning, and it was the place where I would discover the surprising power of 20 PAGES for the first time. (Discuss later)
Thats all for now. this a true story.. and you can find the full book here• https://a.co/d/b0pyE4Z
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